In some ways, coming out as bisexual can be more daunting than coming out as simply gay. While more studies are proving that sexuality and gender exist on a spectrum as opposed to a two-option paradigm, more people are coming out under non-monosexual identifications. Still, while more people are finding comfort with bisexual or pansexual labels, they still receive grief from straight folks and sometimes even other LGBTQ+ folks.

All classified sexual orientations are valid, however, bi/pan people still receive some of these dreaded comments or questions on a regular basis.

“I said I was bi too” or “bi now, gay later.”

No two people’s coming out experiences are exactly alike. If someone initially comes out as bi but later realizes that they are gay, their experience is just as valid as someone who comes out as gay and continues to identify with their label. If a person who comes out as bi and doesn’t end up identifying as gay later on in life, their experience is valid as well. Bisexuality is real and it is the most populous sector of the LGBTQ+ community.

“Do you prefer men or women?”

What difference does it make if a bi person prefers to be with men or women or non-binary individuals? If a bisexual person is in a monogamous relationship with a woman, it doesn’t mean they are no longer attracted to people of other genders. It just means that they’ve made a conscious choice to be sexually and romantically monogamous to one person.

“Does your partner know you’re bi?” or “Does your partner have a problem with you being bi?”

More often than not, most bi people’s partners are fully aware of their sexuality. If they did have a problem with it, then they more than likely would not be with them.

“Do you have a lot of threesomes?”

Bi women get asked about threesomes more often than bi men. Regardless, what a person does in the privacy of their own business is nobody’s business but their’s, as long as such acts are consensual. Just because a person is attracted to men and women doesn’t mean they’re willing to fulfil your threesome fantasy.

“You just haven’t met the right man/woman yet”

I’ve been with plenty of men and women, and the truth of the matter is, I still enjoy being with both. No woman is going to turn me straight and no man is going to turn me gay. Although I’m currently in a monogamous relationship, that does not mean I’m no longer attracted to people of other genders

“Don’t you want to settle down one day?”

Maybe I do, maybe I don’t. If I do, that doesn’t mean I will no longer be bisexual, and me being bisexual doesn’t mean I’m any more promiscuous than a gay or straight man. Me being bisexual also doesn’t inhibit my ability to be faithful or monogamous. Besides, settling down and getting married shouldn’t be anyone’s sole purpose in life, regardless of sexual orientation.

 

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